Baseball season is technically now upon us, THANKS BUD! This means I can finally put my baseball knowledge to use. This year I have decided to actually chronicle my bold predictions (the ones that I feel will happen) and my quoted predictions (the ones I guarantee will happen).
I know all the rich successful MLB pundits are calling the Dodgers the class of the National League West; that’s the best in the West then get the vultures ready. The Dodgers do have a lot of talent, if you are building your team in 2009. Let’s be honest, Either, Crawford, and AGon have seen their best days and the sun is setting on Grienke, Billingsley, and 99% of those “closers in wait.” The ultimate test will be Mr Puig. If you think the media loved this guy when he hit .400, just wait till he doesn’t hit .300- the media will be all over him like locusts in the Old Testament.
Yankees and Red Sox will not win the AL EAST
The Rays are the best team in this division. Toronto and Baltimore aren’t bad either. Yanks spend money on guys who are old. The Red Sox have zero identity. Sure Bogarts is a great potential young homegrown shortstop, but they already had one of those and well he works for Four-Letter network now. If you really only looked at the stats from the Yankees and Red Sox last year by position there is no way you would say that these two teams are potential champs. Simply put, Jeterstalgia will propel the Bronx Bums to at least have that one game wild card.
Josh Hamilton and Prince Fielder will both hit 25 home runs or less.
The numbers suggest Hamilton wasn’t that bad last year. The numbers for Prince suggest a slight decline is imminent. Either way both guys are on the wrong side of the peak years and their power outage will not be pretty.
The Kansas City Royals and Pittsburgh Pirates will win their divisions.
The snow in hell is getting outrageous. Bud is calling Satan right now, and selling his soul to ensure that Gerrit Cole and Yordano blow out their UCLs. He’s also praying to the Lord of Darkness that Pedro Alvarez and Eric Hosmer stay as inconsistent as possible. Oh well too late these 2 teams are going to damage the game of baseball. Well only to the 4 letter network.
“Bryce Harper will not hit .300 or 30 Homeruns.”
Bryce is good. He’s also 21 with some injury concerns. Baseball fans love to parrot that Kurkjian guy. Kurkjian is an idiot and so, too, is anyone who thinks Bryce is going to hit the triple-crown any time soon. Keep dreaming kids.
“The Colorado Rockies will barely miss the playoffs.”
Dan O’Dowd went from being in the Ruben Amarao class to being a visionary. Ok not really, but Eddie Butler and Jonathan Gray are legit rookie-of-the-year candidates this season. It’s a stretch, but this team’s offense is going to put up huge numbers and the Rockies actually have a solid young rotation that will keep the ball out of the cheap seats. If, Tulo can stay healthy all year, this team could be a division champion. Perhaps that idea is a little crazy, so just watch them scare everyone until late September.
“Kevin Towers and Ruben Amarao will do something stupid.”
It’s a no brainer; these two guys are the worst general managers in all of sports. Jerry Jones would have to give Tony Romo a 20-year deal to have this level of incompetence and lack of foresight. Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels should be traded in July; instead, Rubex will probably buy a pitcher to chase the Braves. Towers, on the other hand, will trade promising young arms for more fringe outfielders and relievers. This is their M.O. and a tiger can never change it’s stripes.
“ESPN Pundits will miss the WORLD SERIES WINNER AGAIN.”
Last year, no one working for ESPN picked the Red Sox to win. This year, most of them are picking the Yanks, Dodgers, Nats, Tigers, and Red Sox. Quite simply none of those 4 teams will be playing in the World Series. I wish I could get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to always be dead wrong.